Written on
September 26, 2008
by
Paddy
In fact, time is an illusion. We can’t manage time. We can manage ourselves. We can only manage ourselves in the present. Any other time doesn’t exist.
If we spend time thinking about the future, we are missing an opportunity to do something now. If now is spent thinking about the future, we are wasting the ‘now’.
A sense of purpose comes when we do what we are doing as well as we can. Our purpose is to do what we are doing at this present moment.
Imagine you feel very well and enjoying your life. This will come from a ‘now’ focus. Also imagine that you are diagnosed with a serious illness. At the moment of diagnosis, you shift to thinking about a awful future. You suddenly don’t feel so well.
Try living in the present. You might enjoy yourself more.
time management, illusion, future thinking
Posted in Time management & personal organisation | Comment Now!
Written on
September 18, 2008
by
Paddy
We had some friends stay with us who were on the Qantas flight that had to land in Manila after the oxygen tank exploded.
Our friends are a married couple and their reactions were extraordinarily different. They also noticed a variety of reactions from others to a potentially fatal accident.
How is it that people have such different reactions to the same event? One of our friends whipped out his camera and took some photos. He saw the incident as an opportunity to record his experiences and pass this information onto his local newspaper.
Our other friend saw the event as life threatening and was shocked and frightened. Same event, very different reactions.
One person was operating in the present, taking photos of what was happening. The other was looking to a frightening future consequence, death. It is unusual that the word present can refer to ‘now’ or a gift.
Operating in the present is a gift and can shield us from a frightening future. Why not try making the present longer by focusing on it more often. Be where you are. Be with the people you are with. Taste your food and listen to people. In reality, there is no other time than now and by thinking about another time we miss now.
Posted in Influencing & Negotiating skills | Comment Now!
Written on
June 18, 2008
by
Paddy
Listening is often seen as a weak way of influencing others. It can be as strong as the most assertive behaviour. It is similar to not taking the bait and entering into a useless argument. It is not strong to respond to a baiting comment. It is strong to resist this primal urge.
A simple way of resisting the urge to fight back verbally is to ask questions or actively listen when pressured instead of fighting back or becoming sternly silent. By actively listen, I mean to paraphrase what has been said in your own words to prove that you have been listening. Be careful of your tone or facial expression as any hint of aggression or sarcasm with make matters worse.
So try this next time you are pressured by others.
- Breathe in
- Pause
- Ask an question
- Confirm that you have understood the answer e.g. ‘So you are too busy to help me today.’
- Ask another question e.g. ‘When do you think you will have the time to help me?’
Posted in Influencing & Negotiating skills | Comment Now!
Written on
December 20, 2007
by
Paddy
People usually give goals a thought at the start of the New Year.
You know the usual mantras ‘ The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan’.
Let me suggest something different for 2008 and maybe what’s left of 2007.
Rather than focus on a goal that can be achieved and ticked what about focusing on a value that cannot be achieved or completed but will motivate you for the rest of your life. Goals usually have a time frame.
Values are forever.
Take honesty for example… will you ever be able to say you have achieved it? I was honest in 2008. How about kindness or compassion or generosity? You can’t tick these off the list like losing weight or writing a book or visiting a country. They can go on motivating you forever, like shooting for the stars and knowing that you won’t get there.
Here’s my suggested New Year’s resolution. Think about a value that you are ready to get serious about and get started on living this value every day. Make this value a part of your everyday life.
Here are some values to choose from…
- Co-operation
- Honesty
- Respect
- Compassion
- Kindness
- Patience
- Cheerfulness
- Responsibility
- Courage
Any of these will create a challenge if they are to permeate our lives. Just try one and consider how it can become a part of everything you do. Honesty is a huge challenge if taken seriously. People are not so fragile that they can’t handle the truth. If you think people are not ready for your honesty, try combining it with respect.
Just an idea to get you past the goal setting and New Year’s resolution that is a necessary task at the start of each year.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and an exciting start to 2008.
Regards,
Paddy Spruce CSP
Posted in Personal Development | Comment Now!
Written on
November 5, 2007
by
Paddy
I was working with the Melbourne Zoo and was told how two elephants adapted to the new enclosure. The new enclosure was larger, greener, provided a swimming pool and was more like the natural environment of an elephant in the wild. You’d expect two elephants to react positively to such a one sided choice. The old postage stamp or the new jungle with pool.
The female elephant seemed excited from day one and enjoyed the opportunity to walk to the new enclosure exploring all the way.
The male elephant did not like being out of his usual enclosure and refused to co-operate. It took over two years of gradual encouragement to get him used to moving and behaving himself in a new environment. Even at the last moment he needed to be taken by truck to his new home.
I am not wanting to make a gender comparison here but simply a comparison of two reactions to change. Some people do change easily. Some do it very hard. If you are managing and implementing change, remember that the decision to make the change is done in a moment. The times it takes for everyone to accept the change can be much longer.
Some will deny, resist and fight against the change. Some will grieve as they would the loss of a friend. Some will be excited and want to move quickly. As a manager of this process, you will feel like you are herding kittens. You will need to be very aware of the range of reactions and accept that everyone is doing their best.
You will need to explain to the deniers that it is really happening and won’t go away. You may need to this often until they accept. Their reaction is not rational so it can’t be explained away simply. You will need to listen to the angry ventilators without agreeing to them. The may want to hang on to ‘the old way’ because they know it so well. You will need to show compassion to the grievers and help them move on into the present.
What to do with the excited ones that want to get on with it. You can use them as an example or ask them to move at a pace that allows everyone to stay together.
Rationally, we all know that we need to improve to stay in business and keep our clients and customers satisfied. Emotionally, we move at different rates to accept this change. Some of us move so slowly that it looks like resistance.
We want all our elephants to change and continue to improve. As a skilled change agent, your challenge it to help everyone move at their own pace whilst keeping the client satisfied. Back to normal is not normal. Forward to normal is.
Paddy
change, resistance, improve
Posted in Personal Development | Comment Now!
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