There have  been a recent spate of events where a person is verbally abused in public by a stranger. They all smell of an ‘ism’. Racism, Sexism, Ageism. Anyway, it seemed that one person attempted to intimidate another in the presence of others. In all cases, some of the others found time to record the event on their mobile ‘phones.

In some cases, the others spoke up. They took a risk. They also moved from passive spectators to active defenders by merely speaking. In most cases the spell was broken. Others joined in. The person being intimidated felt supported. The intimidator suddenly realised they had more resistance than they expected.

A few words changed the situation. The targeted victim didn’t feel so alone. It doesn’t seem to matter what is said. Just someone speaking rather than staying silent. Maybe me. Maybe you.

It is optimistic to believe that the sun will come out tomorrow but it may not be where you are.  If you are in space, the sun won’t come out tomorrow. Optimism has its place. So does reality. Sometimes optimism is a rejection of what is happening or has happened. It can be a bit out of touch. Reality can bite hard especially if you refuse to accept it. Ignoring a barking dog won’t make it bark less.

For example, as a speaking coaching and speaker, I always have a back up plan in case anything goes wrong. Usually, nothing goes wrong but sometimes it does. I have had equipment fail, software refuse to work, the microphone crackle, the lights go off and had my passport rejected at the airport. More recently, I had a full water jug spilt on my laptop ten minutes before starting a training session. All reality.

Chesley Sullenberg, the pilot who landed the commercial airlines in the Hudson River without loss of life, says he operates on short term realism and long term optimism. Nice combination. Assume a good outcome but accept whatever happens. Don’t catastrophise. Just accept and take action. No hissy fits. Just action. If this sounds like abnormal behaviour, become abnormal as quickly as you can.

A good application of this philosophy is Public Speaking. Imagine thinking that everything will be fine without preparing or having a Plan B. You are asked to give a talk. You have done it before. No need to prepare or tailor for a new audience. Nothing will go wrong. Hope you are right. Hope Bad Luck doesn’t rain on your optimism.

Sure, have long term optimism. Imagine the presentation going well but don’t spend valuable preparation time hoping that it all goes well. Spend your present time on short term realism. Plan, prepare, learn about your audience, clarify your purpose, explore the venue, test the equipment, arrive early, listen to the speaker before you, have a Plan B in case anything or everything goes wrong. I remember an occasion when the lights went out in a large auditorium and another when I introduced a speaker who hadn’t arrived. Create your own pictures. Take topical photos and use them in your presentation. Do this well in advance.

So if you want help with an upcoming presentation, give me a call. I am coaching individuals who are preparing for important presentations and want to improve their Public Speaking. Their jobs require this skill. They want to Influence others and improve their Selling Skills. All can be done better in front of an audience because of the potential abundant energy in the room.

Don’t delay in developing your Presentation Skills. Start now. Contact me.

Paddy Spruce
03 9808 8990
paddy@paddyspruce.com.au

You can soften questions by adding…’Do you mind if I ask…who you is supplying you at the moment?’. The worst the person can say is NO.

So explore how others think if you are intending to assist or influence or sell to them. Ask questions. Figure out their decision making process and use it guide them towards your solution. Find out what is important to them and use this information to help them and yourself. Offer information that they would be happy to pay for. Be generous.

If you are in need of personal coaching in selling skills, contact me on 039808 8990 or check out my website at www.paddyspruce.com.au

A way around this is to be prepared for such situations. You can’t always prepare for the specific situation but can prepare for the fear that may come.

It starts with a thought which rapidly moves into an inhibiting fear.

Deal with it when it is still a thought. Identify is as a thought. Say to yourself “here’s the thought”. If recognised for the imposter that it is, it does not graduate to the paralysing fear. You will know what to say. “Excuse me. I don’t agree with what you are saying” will come more easily. Or ” I don’t know the answer to your question…but I will find out”.

If someone said to you “Do you know who I am ?’, you could either shrink in fear or come back with a humorous reply. ‘No but let’s look in your wallet.’

No fear of feeling inadequate or failing. Just temporary ignorance. We are all ignorant in many areas. What harm in others knowing this?  Imagine the risk in having people believe that you know everything.

If you need help in presenting yourself and your ideas, I can assist in the twin skills of Public Speaking or Influencing Skills. Contact me if you want training or personal coaching.

Paddy Spruce
www.paddyspruce.com.au

Here is an example of an example.

My point is that questions are powerful. Sounds innocuous or obvious.

I was booked into a hotel and arrived late. I gave the person behind the desk my name. He said ‘ I’m sorry we are booked out. We did try to contact you. We have booked you into another hotel’.

I pushed back saying ‘That I didn’t want to stay at another hotel and had a email confirming my booking’. He looked at me and repeated ‘ We don’t have any available rooms…’

Stalemate!

I breathed in and asked a question. ‘What would you do if you were me?’ I made a booking, have a confirmation and need to stay at this hotel as I am working early tomorrow morning in this hotel. ‘What would you do if you were me?’

He looked down and paused for a long time.

‘I’ll speak to my manager and see what we can do’.

You guessed it. They found me a room.

This is an example of the power of a question and the power of an example.

Make sure you follow up and strengthen your influencing attempts with examples and resist a strong push with a question. Don’t just push back. They get more determined.

If you want individual help to improve your Influencing Skills, contact me. As you move up the management tree, your ability to influence others will become increasingly important. Improve your ability while you have the time and opportunity.

Paddy Spruce
www.paddyspruce.com.au

Imagine if someone asked if your neighbourhood was safe. You would think of examples of unsafe and probably come up with none. In my case, I cannot think of anything that has happened to me that I would call unsafe. I would answer that my neighbourhood is safe based on the availability of examples that come to mind. Quick decision.

Another way would be to contact the police and get the stats for our suburb. This would take longer and would reveal a different picture as it would include everything that has been reported to the police. Both methods are good. The first is quick and could be easily derailed by a single recent incident. Visitors might think an entire city is unsafe because of the behaviour of one drunk. One negative incident can make an entire neighbourhood seem unsafe to the quick brain. One incident would not make much difference to the slower brain. One incident is insignificant in a suburb with hundreds of thousands of people… unless it happens near you.
So what’s this got to do with public speaking or influencing others?

If people judge you with their quick brain, your appearance, voice, accent, vocabulary, age, gender and nationality… matter.

If the slower brain is activated, these are not so important. What you say and do is more important. Your past achievements matter. You go beyond what is immediately available or presented.

So… when meeting others as individuals or as an audience make sure you do all you can to make a good first impression. Listen, make eye contact, focus on the others’ needs. Once you have made contact, you can progress to displaying your competence and credentials. You can explain how you can benefit the other.

Remember you have two hurdles, one quick and sometimes superficial. It can also be a very fine tuned intuition. The slower brain follows and is more logical and analytical. You can now sell yourself and your ability to assist the other. If you fall at the first hurdle, it is unlikely you will get to the second.

If you need help with improving your Influencing Skills or Public Speaking, contact me. I can assist with training and coaching in both areas.

Paddy Spruce

Exercise is good for you.

The more you hear the same message, the more likely you are to remember it. The better you remember it , the more likely you are to act on it.

If the message is just repeated in the same way it becomes boring.

So, devise ways of repeating your main point when presenting or speaking without becoming boring. A simply way is to offer examples and follow up with the main point again.

Here’s an example of an example.

We know we should call 000 if we suspect that someone in our presence is having a stroke. Call 000 if you think someone is having a stroke. Pretty obvious.

Let’s revisit this same message in four different ways.

Call 000 Fast.

If the person’s Face is lopsided. If one side is paralysed. Call 000 fast

If the person can’t hold both Arms out straight in front of them. If one arm won’t behave. Call 000 fast

If the person’s Speech is garbled. Call 000 fast

If the person can’t poke their Tongue straight out. If it pulls to one side. Call 000 fast

FAST is Face, Arm, Speech & Tongue.

The message is to call 000 fast before more damage is done.

The four examples repeat the same message but add variety and make the message familiar.

So repeat your message if you want people to remember it. Say it once and they will deny hearing it. Say it with interesting examples and they will remember and more likely take action.

Contact me if you want help with Public Speaking Training or Influencing Skills Training.

Paddy Spruce 03 9808 8990

So what to do to get in the mood for speaking?

Listening to relaxing music is good.

Humming or singing to yourself is good.

Just thinking about nothing and simply being aware of your surroundings works.

Using the mindfulness technique of letting disturbing thoughts drift by without engaging them works a treat.

Getting there early, preparing and sitting peacefully helps.

Covering all eventualities in your mind and then letting them go finally knowing that you can deal with any situation that arises.

Some people like to be left alone to meditate or relax or listen to music. Some feel comfortable to mix with the audience as a way of early engagement or preparation.

Figure what gets you in a good mood from the moment of opening your eyes and don’t let anything disturb you. You will find that your creative brain will work so much better. The examples will flow. The notes won’t be necessary.

If you need help with Public Speaking Coaching in Melbourne, contact me on 9808 8990.

Paddy Spruce

Let’s say you are about to start speaking and get hit with a thought like ‘I need to make sure I don’t stumble on the tricky word in the second paragraph’. Very likely when you get to the tricky word, you will stumble, especially if you rush at the word, hoping to get past it quickly.

An alternative is to pause and breathe in when you get to the word. Leave your mind blank. Give the word some space. Treat it as if it is an important word. Say it deliberately.

Pausing will help you engage your thinking brain. It helps to make a considered decision. It helps to avoid sarcasm. It’s better than biting your tongue.

Next time you are in a shop alone and the person behind the counter asks ‘Are you being looked after by anyone?’ Pause. Run through several possible responses. Choose the best one. It will only take seconds and get you into the habit of thinking before speaking. The opposite can get you in real trouble.

Contact me if you want some public speaking coaching to take your speaking to the next, comfortable level.

Paddy Spruce
03 9808 8990

If you want people to remember what you say, it must move to longer term storage. It needs to be packaged properly to make this transition. It needs to be tagged ( Send to long term storage !)

Number and dates without meaning are very difficult to recall. Try remembering more than seven random numbers.On the other hand you will never forget  9/11 or 911 if you like cars.

If you present information especially facts, you must reinforce this with an example or story to make it stick. Get into the habit of saying….Let me give you an example. Make the example interesting or impactful.

Here is an example of an example.

It is important to make sure that you don’t put your laptop near a water container. Obvious eh?

Last week I was presenting and put my laptop down next to a water jug. A tall, slim one. I moved towards the jug to move it and was asked a question by someone in the room as I reached toward the jug, taking my eye off the jug. You guessed it. I bumped the jug which toppled over onto my laptop. End of story. End of laptop.

Remember. When presenting information, support your information with examples and stories if you want people to remember beyond a few moments.

Contact me if you want help with public speaking training.

Paddy Spruce