Firstly, we adapt quickly to most things so the effect doesn’t last as long as expected because we forget about the adaptation. ‘This will make me happy for a long time’. It won’t. ‘If I just lose five kilos”. Usually the anticipation is more about excitement. The actual effect of achieving can be less rewarding and not last as long as we thought and we keep forgetting this.  Did you really think that a new anything would bring lasting happiness?

The most reliable way of know what will bring you happiness is to speak to someone that has done what you intend to do or owns something that you intend to buy.  Most people discount this because ‘we are all different’.  We aren’t really.  Our ego wants us to be unique and very different from everyone else.  We aren’t.

Speak to someone who has done what you intend some months after they have done it and you will get a more accurate idea of what brings happiness. Most people think that they are above average at most things. Above average at driving, above average intelligence, above average looks. This can’t be right can it?

People are fearful and shrinking at the moment. Organisations are maintaining rather than growing. Some are shedding staff, cutting costs postponing development opportunities for their staff.

The result of this is that more needs to be done with less. Fewer people, same number of customers and rising customer expectations.

The answer lies in high performing teams. Genuine teams not work groups called teams. A team of four or five can do the work of many more individuals providing they have a common purpose, shared values, competent leadership and a system that works. A crisis can push people to become stronger teams or fragment them.

The big jump is to put We before Me. It seems unnatural to put the needs of others before your own but essential for the development of a true team. Strangely, the best way of looking after yourself is to look after others. A big ego will make it hard for anyone to trust others. There is an ingrained belief that the only person who can do anything properly is ME. In truth, the best person to do anything properly is WE.

Try WE before ME after reading this blog. Identify ways that you can develop your work group into a true team that works as a strong unit. Greek mythology developed the idea of one individual saving the situation. He and it was always He, pushed incompetent groups aside and saved the world on his own. This Hero is a myth. It takes teams to achieve anything worthwhile. Any outstanding individuals are supported by teams.

We before Me.

If you believe that the present financial situation is temporary, your best option is to prepare for the upturn so you are not caught napping.

The Australian Institute of Management has just completed a survey based on the input of over five hundred Australian business leaders.

Seventy one percent said that the downturn is a good opportunity to build market share while their competitors are in retreat. Fifty nine  percent indicated that retention of skilled employees needs to be a top priority.

So if you believe that our business leaders can predict the future, we have an opportunity to develop our people, improve our performance and be ready for the upturn in the economy. We can choose to be driven by fear or hope. History indicates that the downturn is temporary.

So…what can you do to develop and train your people? What can you do to help your clients? How can you help them to focus on an inevitable improvement in the financial situation? What can you do to get them thinking optimistically again?

Fear makes cowards of us all. Hope and optimism makes us brave. Decide not to participate in this temporary downturn.

This miraculous gift is… the present.

Give yourself the present this Christmas.

If you live in the past or the future, try visiting the present. The financial crisis evaporates because nothing is happening to threaten your financial security… at this moment. Also if you have a problem with managing fear in interpersonal situations or speaking in public, then focusing on the present will stop you from creating more fear by projecting into the future, which is not happening.

Imagine that you are in a lift and it stops between floors. You could project into the future and imagine all sorts of dreadful consequences. Or you could visit the past and recall even more dreadful situations that have come from a stalled lift in the past. If you stay in the present, you are simply in a stalled lift. You can either stay with the present internally and keep track of your breathing or go external and focus on what is happening outside.

Read the instructions for a stalled lift or just count the tiles on the floor. Just stay in the present. You will only get anxious if you think about a negative future consequence.

There are lots of wonderful emotions available in the present. There are no emotions in the past or the future. You can only feel in the present. You can only think in the present. Even if something goes wrong for you, you simply accept the present situation and plan a way out without catastrophising.

So a gift for yourself this Christmas is to consciously stay in the present as much a possible.

Listen to others, enjoy your food, feel how you are feeling, see what you are seeing and don’t wander off into other worlds from the past or future. If you do wander, come back quickly.

Try taking off your watch so you can stay in the present without a constant reminder of what time it is. A gift for others is to give them your full attention without any thoughts about what they are saying. They will take your full and undivided attention as a compliment, a Christmas present. Your friends and family will notice the difference. If they don’t, you have lost the present.

I wish you a wonderful Christmas and my present to you is the present. Enjoy it. It’s all you’ve got.

Christmas Greetings

Christmas present, future, past, present, give yourself

You know the usual mantras ‘ The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan’.

Let me suggest something different for 2008 and maybe what’s left of 2007.

Rather than focus on a goal that can be achieved and ticked what about focusing on a value that cannot be achieved or completed but will motivate you for the rest of your life. Goals usually have a time frame.

Values are forever.

Take honesty for example… will you ever be able to say you have achieved it? I was honest in 2008. How about kindness or compassion or generosity? You can’t tick these off the list like losing weight or writing a book or visiting a country. They can go on motivating you forever, like shooting for the stars and knowing that you won’t get there.

Here’s my suggested New Year’s resolution. Think about a value that you are ready to get serious about and get started on living this value every day. Make this value a part of your everyday life.

Here are some values to choose from…

• Co-operation
• Honesty
• Respect
• Compassion
• Kindness
• Patience
• Cheerfulness
• Responsibility
• Courage

Any of these will create a challenge if they are to permeate our lives. Just try one and consider how it can become a part of everything you do. Honesty is a huge challenge if taken seriously. People are not so fragile that they can’t handle the truth. If you think people are not ready for your honesty, try combining it with respect.

Just an idea to get you past the goal setting and New Year’s resolution that is a necessary task at the start of each year.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and an exciting start to 2008.

Regards,

Paddy Spruce CSP

The female elephant seemed excited from day one and enjoyed the opportunity to walk to the new enclosure exploring all the way.

The male elephant did not like being out of his usual enclosure and refused to co-operate. It took over two years of gradual encouragement to get him used to moving and behaving himself in a new environment. Even at the last moment he needed to be taken by truck to his new home.

I am not wanting to make a gender comparison here but simply a comparison of two reactions to change. Some people do change easily. Some do it very hard. If you are managing and implementing change, remember that the decision to make the change is done in a moment. The times it takes for everyone to accept the change can be much longer.

Some will deny, resist and fight against the change. Some will grieve as they would the loss of a friend. Some will be excited and want to move quickly. As a manager of this process, you will feel like you are herding kittens. You will need to be very aware of the range of reactions and accept that everyone is doing their best.

You will need to explain to the deniers that it is really happening and won’t go away. You may need to this often until they accept. Their reaction is not rational so it can’t be explained away simply. You will need to listen to the angry ventilators without agreeing to them. The may want to hang on to ‘the old way’ because they know it so well. You will need to show compassion to the grievers and help them move on into the present.

What to do with the excited ones that want to get on with it. You can use them as an example or ask them to move at a pace that allows everyone to stay together.

Rationally, we all know that we need to improve to stay in business and keep our clients and customers satisfied. Emotionally, we move at different rates to accept this change. Some of us move so slowly that it looks like resistance.

We want all our elephants to change and continue to improve. As a skilled change agent, your challenge it to help everyone move at their own pace whilst keeping the client satisfied. Back to normal is not normal. Forward to normal is.

Paddy

change, resistance, improve

Our society seems to value heroes and heroines who earn their status in a moment of valor. The lecturer who struggled with the armed student after having been shot twice. The person who ran into a blazing house to save a child.

We seldom define someone as heroic who has earned the status over a decade. How many moments in a decade?

In a newsletter sometime ago on my site I included…’A Poem’. It was written by a true heroine, Maree Bourke-Calliss. Maree had a stroke on 5th May, 1994 and has been ‘locked in’ her own body since. She can blink… nothing else. Just imagine being struck down suddenly with a stroke and only being able to blink. Hearing, thinking, feeling but not being able to move or communicate verbally with others.

The story has moved since she published her poem. Maree spoke at the CPA Conference in Adelaide a couple of years ago. She has written her story slowly and laboriously by blinking her eyes. The story was spoken by my wife, Hilary, who is an actor, speaker and singer. Maree’s family were there from Quambatook and Queensland. She had been preparing for months to tell her story to assist others to truly value themselves and their lives.

Let me quote a paragraph from her story just in case you didn’t see this.

“Be clear about who you are”
You have to have a purpose for being, not just a purpose for doing. Even though I cannot do all those normal activities you associate with living such as walking and talking, I have a big reason for getting out of bed in the morning. I have a purpose that is about achieving, doing the impossible, and challenging myself to go that little bit further everyday. I don’t wake up thinking about money or getting the car serviced or doing the grocery shopping or wishing that I had read that report on the weekend so work would be less pressure today – that’s the doing stuff and you know you’ll get to it sometime during the week.I wake up thinking about what will make a difference today, what I need to achieve, what I need to do to make this day worthwhile for those around me. It’s a waste of time and energy to act from a position of imprisonment. You must come from a position of resilience and learn to cope with everything that’s thrown at you. You know the saying “It’s not what happens to you that’s important…it’s what happens within you”. I am a worthwhile human being because I now know myself so much better and I love myself for who I am and not for how I look.

So, you have advice from someone who has earned the right to give advice by behaving heroically over ten years. Someone who was offered the choice of living or dying and embraced living. Maree lives a very full life with the ability to think and blink. Are you making the most of your life?

Paddy

making the most, full life, disability, ability, hero, heroine