Thinking about thinking

April 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Can you think about not thinking? Probably not. Many of our body and mind functions are automatic. We don’t have to think about breathing or digesting. We might think about what we eat but the digesting is automatic. Tried controlling your breathing or holding your breath. It will go back to automatic very quickly. What about thoughts? Do we control the thoughts that enter our minds? I don’t. They just seem to enter as a continuous stream even when I am asleep.

So what is the best thing to do when your thoughts are not helpful? What to do when you catastrophise. Imagine you are about to give a talk and suddenly you feel panic because you think ‘What happens if my mind goes blank?’ What to do with this thought? The least helpful action would be to give the thought space to expand. You might try to get rid of the thought. ‘Go away!!’ It might.

I find the best strategy is to let thoughts drift by unless they are useful, in which case I let them in. If they are not useful, I let them continue to drift by and call them what they are – thoughts. Thoughts can’t hurt anyone… I sometimes say to myself ‘There’s that thought again’. It doesn’t like being identified as merely a thought.

Try it next time you get a useless or distracting thought. You don’t have to think all the time. Being aware is not the same as thinking. Sit quietly and watch your thoughts go by. It’s relaxing anyway.

Paddy Spruce

Filed Under: Blog

The importance of starting well

January 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment
It seems that our brain is hard wired to make first impressions in an instant. This means that if you are presenting to a group, you have seconds to get them onside… emotionally. If you are successful, they will listen with an open mind and are open to persuasion, logically. You information will have impact. If they decide that you are not trustworthy or reliable, anything you say from this point is wasted. The door has shut. Any information is rejected. It’s a bit like writing off a speaker because you have heard something negative about their private lives. Their information, although potentially very valuable, is rejected.
I remember my father telling me not to buy a Japanese car because of his war time experiences.
So, take care when starting. Be polite. Express your gratitude. Be personal. Be humble. Be authentic. Start with a story that makes a point. Most people’s defences don’t work against a story. They will let you finish the story.
By the way, if you’re reading this by email, make sure you pop back to the new look site to have a look!
Regards
Paddy Spruce.
Filed Under: Blog, Influencing & Negotiating skills

Sad is not so bad

January 2, 2012 By Leave a Comment
The sun’ll come out tomorrow. You may not be able to see it because of cloud cover. Positive thinking is big business and is mostly good for us. It can also prevent us from dealing with reality. If we all think positively there can be an empathy deficit. Instead of listening to people who are feeling sad, we try to cheer them up. We deny how they are feeling. Professor Joseph Forgas from the University of New South Wales says that mild sadness can improve recall of everyday events, make people more sceptical and make us less likely to make quick judgements based on stereotypes. Also people who are feeling sad are better at detecting deception, better at fault finding and more persuasive at winning arguments. The main point is that sad is not so bad. Be sad rather than deny it and use the mood to help you. Don’t try to change the mood. Just accept that it is where you are and know that it has advantages as do all moods and feelings. Sunshine is not better than rain, it’s just sunshine. Bad weather is not bad. It’s just weather.
Filed Under: Blog

Ubuntu

December 30, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The essence of Ubuntu is ‘ I am what I am because of who we all are’.

Individuals are flawed and don’t really achieve much on their own. They achieve because of the support of others. Ubuntu in different guises is a philosophy that exists in many African countries. The name is slightly different. The concept the same. Look after visitors. Respect human life. Show empathy. Value dignity, compassion, humanness and respect.

We are part of a larger community. We have an obligation to contribute in proportion to our talent, resources, abilities. The community sustains us. We need to contribute in return. A workplace is a community in which this operates.

Christmas is a good time to acknowledge the support we receive from the entire community. Remember when we used to thank our postman, rubbish collectors, neighbours?

We recently had a call from a neighbour who noticed that we had left our garage door open overnight. They were concerned for our safety.

Nelson Mandela had this to say about Ubuntu….

‘A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, is not threatened by the success of others, bases their self assurance on knowing that they are part of a greater whole that is built with others are praised, and diminished when others are ridiculed or not treated with respect’.

Filed Under: Blog, Time management & personal organisation

You start before you start

December 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When presenting to an audience of any size, you have seconds to make an impression. A favourable impression means that they will classify your information as relevant and valuable. They will make impression very quickly. You may have not even started on the content. An unfavourable impression means that they will classify your information as useless even if it isn’t. This is an emotional judgement. It is lightning quick.

So, look your best, be well prepared, pause before starting to make sure you are composed. Look at the audience and start emotionally.

Ask them a question about themselves. Who has enough money in their superannuation? Who remembers the last time they were really happy? You will get an emotional response. Even better, start with a story. Instead of saying my name is…. and I work for…. etc.  Start with….. ‘It was a really warm day as I recall. The north wind was blowing very hot. I could smell smoke…..’ You will have them in your hand instead of in your head.

Think of an unusual way to start your next presentation. Wait until you and they are ready and then wait another ten seconds. Every time you present to an audience you build on your presentation skills…. and your reputation.

Filed Under: Blog, Presentation skills
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